Ugh

So I’ve become slightly obsessed with running shorts within the last 36 hours. I really wanted to find a pair of shorts that were not only functional, but also flattering. I looked at what felt like a few hundred pairs of shorts online, only to realize that looking at shorts online doesn’t help since they can look great on the website model and absolutely horrible on your body. So I took my search to the stores and tried on all the shorts that met my criteria: compression shorts with a key pocket.

I’m super cheap, so trying on shorts at sporting goods stores was hard: the majority of the shorts were more expensive than my good jeans. Why would I pay more money for an item of clothing that I was going to sweat in and wear only while working out, most likely not around any of my friends/family? I told myself that I’d probably take my puppy for walks while wearing these shorts, which meant I might run into people from my building, and there would also be potential for me to meet friends for walks while wearing these shorts.

I tried to get past the price factor and focus solely on how I felt about the way I looked in the shorts. After many pairs, I finally found a pair I liked. However, they were expensive (in my opinion), so I filed them in my “maybe” folder in my brain and went to Target. I had seen several pairs of shorts from Target online, but needed to try them on.

All the reasonably-priced shorts didn’t have pockets. I’m going to go off on a tangent here: the idea that these shorts were “reasonably priced” was a new thing because previously, I didn’t think $15 was reasonable — that seemed expensive for something I was going to sweat in. But after seeing the prices of shorts at nearly ever other store, I realized $15 was downright cheap. Back to the story: I was disappointed in Target for carrying running shorts that didn’t have a key pocket, as I had come to believe that all athletic shorts nowadays had key pockets. The shorts that met my criteria at Target (compression and key-pocket) were $25, which I decided was too expensive to pay at Target when I could get something “better” for just a little more than that.

I then went to Old Navy, the site where my obsession with compression shorts began. What I liked about Old Navy’s shorts was that I could buy two and get a third pair for free (and still be cheaper than the more expensive pair) and that they had key pockets. However, I tried them on and unfortunately, realized they looked even worse than I had tried to trick myself into believing. I tried them on three more times before I told myself, “Lindsey, they don’t look good on you — you cannot buy them. Even though you would get three pairs for less than the price of that other pair…but put them back.” So I did. And I went back to the sporting goods store with the expensive and flattering pair.

I found the shorts on the rack and brought them — along with my second-favorite pair — to the dressing room to ensure that they truly did look good. Upon further inspection, I realized that NEITHER of these two expensive pairs of shorts had key pockets.

How ridiculous! I had driven all over town, comparing shorts and talking myself into and out of buying shorts, only to find out that the pair I like the most and that are the most expensive, don’t have the frickin’ pocket that I had just damned Target over. I was so mad at myself for not noticing that hours earlier.

So what did I do? I bought them anyway. In fact, I bought two pairs of them, and one pair of my second-favorite pair. Then I bought a pair of pants too. My self-control had flown right out the window, along with my logic.

I’m going to Mall of America tomorrow (boyfriend wants a pair of shoes from DSW) and I’m hoping I will try on the shorts from Old Navy again and convince myself that they are cute and that I should buy three pairs of those for less than the price of one of the two pairs of shorts I bought today, then return all the expensive stuff. Absolutely ridiculous.

Product Review: ON Compression Shorts

On a recent trip to Old Navy, I purchased a pair of their color-block compression shorts. They were on sale ($14.50, as opposed to $19.94), and I had seen them in Women’sHealth magazine, so I went for it.

I seem to have an issue understanding what my body looks like as opposed to what I think it looks like. In my head, I pictured these shorts looking great on me. That’s because in my head, my thighs are smaller than they are in actuality. The problem with my thighs, in my opinion, is that they are not proportional to my upper body. I have a petite upper body, but my thighs are not quite as petite. However, when I flip through magazines and see super-cute shorts or skinny jeans, I convince myself that I could wear them. I can’t. It has nothing to do with my size — it’s just my shape. This is why I think women of any size can wear shorts or skinny jeans — just depends on your shape. I have seen many women who, size-wise, are larger than me. Yet their proportions are perfect and they look unbelievably awesome in skinny jeans. So jealous!

Sorry for the tangent there. Back to the review of the shorts.

The shorts were comfortable and I loved the little pocket for my condo keys. When I started my walking warm-up prior to my run, the shorts stayed in place. However, about 7 second into my run, the legs rode up my thighs and I felt like I was wearing underwear on my jog instead of shorts. I tugged at them a couple times, hoping if I found the right placement, they’d stay. No such luck. I eventually decided to stop wasting my energy on tugging at my shorts and focused on the run instead.

The shorts were fine for my walking cool down — they stayed in place for the most part.

I’ve never had compression shorts before, or any shorts that are more form-fitting. Maybe this is how all of them are. Or maybe this is how all of them would be due to the shape of my legs.

Pros: the moisture-wicking was effective — I didn’t feel gross at all; I loved having the key pocket (although most shorts have this now); great comfort.

Cons: hardcore riding up action, therefore incredibly short while running. Hopefully I was running fast enough that no one could see all the thigh-jiggling!